Friday, November 6, 2009
Federal Tax Deduction
Please go to the National FSA Blog to learn more about the Federal adoption credit and sign the petition to keep it instated. Click here for link.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
School Presentation Training Meeting
If you're interested in giving school presentations about adoption, a training will be held on Wednesday, Nov. 4 at 7 p.m. at an LDS Church in Lehi. The address for the Church is 2150 N Pointe Meadow Dr.
If you are heading north on I-15, take the 1200 W exit and turn left off of the off ramp (heading west). Continue through the next stoplight onto 2100 North. The Church is about a mile down the road on your right across from the Pointe Meadows branch of the Lehi library system. We will be in rooms 114 and 115 on the south side of the building.
Another training session will be held in the spring if you can't make it to this training. Please contact Alisa Brough at hoping4.1more@gmail.com with any questions.
If you are heading north on I-15, take the 1200 W exit and turn left off of the off ramp (heading west). Continue through the next stoplight onto 2100 North. The Church is about a mile down the road on your right across from the Pointe Meadows branch of the Lehi library system. We will be in rooms 114 and 115 on the south side of the building.
Another training session will be held in the spring if you can't make it to this training. Please contact Alisa Brough at hoping4.1more@gmail.com with any questions.
Adoption Walk - Nov 7th
The Adoption Walk with Me is a walk planned to gather people together that have been touched by adoption and to help raise awareness of the positive outcomes of adoption to our community.
The plan is to meet at the Rice pavilion at Liberty Park and start with a welcome/ introduction to the event. Next will follow the walk which will begin at the pavilion and follow the paved circular path around the park (1.7 miles) After the walk we will gather again at the pavilion and award prizes and conduct a closing to the event.
9:30 registration/ mingle
10:00 walk
11:30 prizes awarded
12:00 closing/ event finish.
This is a free event. Come for fun and celebrate adoption with others during National Adoption Month. Make sure you where orange! "Orange' you glad for adoption.
Contact: adoptionwalk@hotmail.com
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Required Meeting
The American Fork LDS Family Services in conjunction with Families Supporting Adoption is leading a discussion on:
Creating and Maintaining Relationships with Birth Families
This is a part of the required preparation for your adoption experience.
Please make arrangements now so you and your spouse can attend.
Date: Thursday November 12th
Time: 7:00-9:00 PM
Location: LDS Church 56 S. 1300 W. Pleasant Grove, Utah 84062
Directions: Take exit 275, go past the first light, past the little shopping are with Jones Dental, turn left onto 1300 West, the church will be on the left hand side.
Please meet in the Primary Room
Note: You will be filling out a form indicating your attendance at this meeting.
So Excited to See You There! ;)
with love, Sandy, Loni, Melinda, Adrienne, Hayley, Alisa, Kristel, Chelsea, Katherine & the AF FSA chapter
Sunday, October 18, 2009
UVU Conference NOV 2nd
Please join us at the UVU Adoption Conference on Nov 2nd. Here is a brief list of speakers and workshops:
Michael McLean
Judge Lynn Davis
Financing Adoption: Grants, Loans and Tax Benefits – Kelly Grove
Birth Parent Panel
Adopted Child Panel
and much much more, click here for the entire program.
Michael McLean
Judge Lynn Davis
Financing Adoption: Grants, Loans and Tax Benefits – Kelly Grove
Birth Parent Panel
Adopted Child Panel
and much much more, click here for the entire program.
Parent Training
A big thanks to Leslie and all of those that participated and assisted with the Parent Training, it was a big success.
The next parent training will be the first part of 2010.
Thanks
The next parent training will be the first part of 2010.
Thanks
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Adoptive Parent Training
Friday October 9th from
6:00 to 9:00p.m.
& Saturday, October 10th from
9:00a.m. to 3:30p.m.
Where:
56 S 1300 W
PLEASANT GROVE , UT
Take exit 275, go past first light, past little shopping area with Jones Dental.
Turn left onto 1300 West and then the church is on the left hand side.
This is our summer training.
We will have only one more this year in October.
Talk to your social worker if you are not sure you need to attend.
You can pick up your training binders beginning June 8th at the agency. Price is $20 for the binder.
Friday dinner will be provided and Saturday lunch and snacks will be provided.
RSVP to your social worker!
Monday, September 21, 2009
School Presentations
WE NEED VOLUNTEERS. Our local FSA chapter, under the umbrella of the Utah Adoption Council, make presentations about adoption to local junior and high school classes. Under Utah law, students are required to learn about adoption in health class. This gives us a great opportunity to talk about adoption. You don’t need to have any special talents, just a desire to help and be available during school hours. Presentations are twice a year.
If you are interested, there will be a training this Sunday, September 27th at 6:00pm.
The training will be held at the Red Brick LDS Chapel in Alpine located just east of 200 North and Main. (It is the only Red Brick chapel in Alpine). It is just east of the Peppermint Place Candy Store and south of the My Comfort Outlet.
The training will give you all the information you need to make a presentation. We'll review a generic presentation and go over the guidelines for making these presentations. In every classroom, it's very likely that at least one person knows someone who is pregnant out of wedlock, so this is a great opportunity to spread the good word about adoption.
When we share our positive adoption stories they are powerful, but when birth parents do these presentations and share their positive adoption stories...wow!! If you are a birth parent and are interested, or know a birth parent who might be interested, please invite them to come! You don't need to have adopted to volunteer and this might be a great way to help you feel like you're doing your part to find your birth family while you are waiting.
Unfortunately, adoption is the least popular option. The world needs to hear as many positive experiences as possible.
If you are unable to attend the training but are interested in participating or have questions, please email Alisa Brough at alisa.brough@gmail.com.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
CHAT ROOM Surviving the Roller Coaster of Adoption
Okay it’s Back to School and back to our regular Chat Room schedule! We will meet the 2nd Thursday of the month at 7pm.
That means we will meet next week on Thursday, September 10th.
Our meeting place is Cranberry Farms Clubhouse 2451 W 2400 N Lehi, Utah 84043
Directions From the South:
Heading north on I-15, take the 1200 W exit (#282) and turn left onto 2100 N. into the far right lane. Go through the stop light and stay on 2100 N. for about 1 mile. Turn right at 2300 W., then left at 2150 N. and right again at 2350 W. Turn left at 2400 N and the clubhouse will be on your left, the one with the porch. We’ll have signs on the door so you know you’re at the right place.
The topics for the next few months are as follows:
September 10th Surviving the Roller Coaster of Adoption
October 8th Transracial Adoption
November 12th Communicating with birthparents via E-mail
December—Happy Holidays…No Chat Room
Chat Room is very informal and a stress free environment. You can ask questions about any portion of the adoption process. The topics listed are just to jump start the conversation. Come share your ideas and experiences or just come to listen. This is a great way to meet other adoptive couples. If you have any questions or would like to suggest a topic for Chat Room contact Sheri at shaynuff@att.net.
Adoption Stories Full of Heart, Hope and Tears By Sharon Haddock Mormon Times
Family Services Adoption Conference birth parent panelist Lauren Nelson. Photo: Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret News
LAYTON, Utah -- The four people on the panel at the LDS Family Services-sponsored Families Supporting Adoption conference Saturday looked like four ordinary folks: a soccer mom; a housewife with a toddler; a young, engaged man; and a fresh-faced office secretary.
Who would suspect that each of them hides a precious secret -- a hurt that never quite goes away?
Each is a birth parent who placed a baby up for adoption.
And each is an ardent supporter of the adoption process, a process that not only allows young girls and boys to move on from a painful time in their lives but gives waiting, generous couples a child, and a child a loving, stable family.
And each is an ardent supporter of the adoption process, a process that not only allows young girls and boys to move on from a painful time in their lives but gives waiting, generous couples a child, and a child a loving, stable family.
"It's about what is best for the child," said the moderator of the panel after hearing the stories from Lauren Nelson, Ian Adams, Taneil Hirschi and Martina Muir.
Nelson said she was excited at first to learn she was pregnant but soon realized she couldn't, at age 18, care for a baby on her own. After her mother told her she would need to move out and care for the child herself, she decided to find a family for her baby.
Adams, who is adopted and comes from an adopted parent, lobbied to keep his and his girlfriend's baby but finally acquiesced to her wishes. Today, with three other children in his home and a wedding in the future, he openly weeps when he reads a letter about his firstborn.
"The two toughest questions from my 5-year-old son are 'Am I going to die?' and 'Who's Clara'?" he said.
Hirschi said her boyfriend -- with whom she had broken up with just before she learned she was pregnant -- wanted to get married. His parents had done something similar and he was convinced they could make it. After seven contentious months, she realized she loved her son enough to put aside her own needs and put him into the arms of an ideal family.
Muir was a senior in high school who decided to place her baby for adoption only to discover the baby's father was going to court to block the placement. Although she felt she'd chosen a family with the Lord's help, it was five months later and a second family who got her baby boy. (The second family had only just registered with Family Services and would have missed out on her child if she had placed him immediately.)
In each case, the path to placement was emotionally taxing but, in the end, tremendously rewarding.
The panelists teared up as they discussed the past, the future and their love for their babies.
"It was and remains the single most painful moment in my life," Adams said.
Each agreed that good communication with the adoptive family makes the situation bearable.
Muir was a senior in high school who decided to place her baby for adoption only to discover the baby's father was going to court to block the placement. Although she felt she'd chosen a family with the Lord's help, it was five months later and a second family who got her baby boy. (The second family had only just registered with Family Services and would have missed out on her child if she had placed him immediately.)
In each case, the path to placement was emotionally taxing but, in the end, tremendously rewarding.
The panelists teared up as they discussed the past, the future and their love for their babies.
"It was and remains the single most painful moment in my life," Adams said.
Each agreed that good communication with the adoptive family makes the situation bearable.
"I can't keep dwelling on what I don't have," Nelson said. "These are tears of gratitude that this family would do this. They all saved my life."
"I now have four children," Muir said. "Each time one of them reaches five months, that's the hard time because that's the age my son was."
The panelists suggested couples hoping a birth mother or father chooses them for placement need to be as real and honest as possible in their profiles and conversations.
"Honesty and openness counts," Adams said.
"Put in details about yourself, like what do you like to eat, what sports do you enjoy," Muir said.
"Have faith and find comfort," Hirschi said. "There will be a tailor-made situation for you. Have faith. It will come. Don't lose hope."
"We're able to bless each other," Muir said.
"I now have four children," Muir said. "Each time one of them reaches five months, that's the hard time because that's the age my son was."
The panelists suggested couples hoping a birth mother or father chooses them for placement need to be as real and honest as possible in their profiles and conversations.
"Honesty and openness counts," Adams said.
"Put in details about yourself, like what do you like to eat, what sports do you enjoy," Muir said.
"Have faith and find comfort," Hirschi said. "There will be a tailor-made situation for you. Have faith. It will come. Don't lose hope."
"We're able to bless each other," Muir said.
Failed placements can hurt as much as loss of a child By Sharon Haddock Mormon Times
LAYTON, Utah -- Brad and Brenda Horrocks have three beautiful adopted children.
They also have three heartbreaking stories to tell -- stories where the birth mothers changed their minds about placement.
They also have three heartbreaking stories to tell -- stories where the birth mothers changed their minds about placement.
That's one of the most difficult parts of the adoption process, according to participants in the Families Supporting Adoption conference sponsored by LDS Family Services July 31-Aug. 1.
"Even now, coming from a good place, it hurts. It hurts to go back," said Brenda Horrocks as she presented a workshop on "Coping With Failed Placements."
"I have never shared these stories out loud before, except to friends and family."
Horrocks said while it's tough to revisit the past, it's also important to share some of what she and her husband learned.
"Are failed placements and infant loss the same? Yes, the grieving is much the same," she said. "You are losing an infant."
Feelings of rage and frustration over infertility issues come back.
It's hard for others to appreciate the enormous loss and therefore, there's usually little support, she said.
In addition, the couple loses a birth mother who has become a friend, Horrocks said, even while there can be anger and confusion about the birth mother's decision.
"I have never shared these stories out loud before, except to friends and family."
Horrocks said while it's tough to revisit the past, it's also important to share some of what she and her husband learned.
"Are failed placements and infant loss the same? Yes, the grieving is much the same," she said. "You are losing an infant."
Feelings of rage and frustration over infertility issues come back.
It's hard for others to appreciate the enormous loss and therefore, there's usually little support, she said.
In addition, the couple loses a birth mother who has become a friend, Horrocks said, even while there can be anger and confusion about the birth mother's decision.
Horrocks described the circumstances where a young mother chose the Horrocks for her baby girl only to change her mind under family pressure. The Horrockses had bought pink dresses and told their family they were getting a baby.
"I fell into a deep depression. I did not have hope in my life," Horrocks said. "I would sit and sob and rock, holding a dress in my hands. I didn't get out of it until my oldest daughter was placed eight months later."
"I fell into a deep depression. I did not have hope in my life," Horrocks said. "I would sit and sob and rock, holding a dress in my hands. I didn't get out of it until my oldest daughter was placed eight months later."
The second birth mother had found the Horrocks via the Internet and wanted to place a baby girl. She withdrew as her delivery date approached and finally cut off contact altogether. The Horrockses eventually found out from a hospital Web site that the baby had been born.
Brad Horrocks said he was angry about this placement because he felt manipulated and used.
"She was scared. I understand," said Brenda Horrocks. "but it took me a full year to recover."
The third interrupted placement involved a couple who didn't feel prepared to deal with a fifth child. However, they later decided not to place the baby for adoption.
The Horrocks suggest couples formulate a "just-in-case" plan so that when and if a placement fails to materialize, they have a contact person who can inform others and share information.
They said would-be parents left with empty arms should seek professional counseling and learn about coping with grief and about dealing with their spouse during a very difficult time.
"Let yourself feel, give yourself time, pamper yourself, find an outlet," said Brenda Horrocks. "Don't push yourself for others and allow yourself to feel joy again."
"Remember, the Lord knows of your situation. You will not miss out on your child," she said.
Brad Horrocks said he was angry about this placement because he felt manipulated and used.
"She was scared. I understand," said Brenda Horrocks. "but it took me a full year to recover."
The third interrupted placement involved a couple who didn't feel prepared to deal with a fifth child. However, they later decided not to place the baby for adoption.
The Horrocks suggest couples formulate a "just-in-case" plan so that when and if a placement fails to materialize, they have a contact person who can inform others and share information.
They said would-be parents left with empty arms should seek professional counseling and learn about coping with grief and about dealing with their spouse during a very difficult time.
"Let yourself feel, give yourself time, pamper yourself, find an outlet," said Brenda Horrocks. "Don't push yourself for others and allow yourself to feel joy again."
"Remember, the Lord knows of your situation. You will not miss out on your child," she said.
New Itsaboutlove.org Is Unveiled by: Lisa Christensen Church News staff writer
The site, itsaboutlove.org, replaces the previous LDS Family Services Web site, a "significant enhancement" from the first site launched in 2002, said Steven A. Sunday, manager of adoption services. The new site allows people to communicate 24/7, and is more exposed to adoptive parent and expectant parents than before, he said.
"The Web site has been much more friendly and informative," he said, as far as letting prospective adoptive parents and women in crisis pregnancies learn more about their options.
In an effort to make it a "non-threatening" environment, Brother Sunday said the new Web site features real stories from real adoptive parents and birth mothers, making it less canned."Their stories are emotional, powerful, from the heart," he said. They also had past parents and mothers answer frequently asked questions and forward questions received from their "Contact Us" section to them. Brother Sunday said it is important for people to realize their questions are being answered by real people, not by someone behind a curtain.
TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE CLICK HERE
Troy Dunn had us Laughing & Crying
A gift storyteller, his experiences and anecdotes had us laughing one minute and touched to the point of tears the next.
The Church News covered the event and highlighted excerpts from his address, including how his mother explained to him the concept of adoption as they were waiting to adopt Troy's youngest brother.
"My mom introduced the beautiful concept of adoption in a very simple manner," Brother Dunn said. "She said, 'There is something that is called prayer trading, and we're going to trade prayers with somebody. Somewhere out there is a girl praying for a good family for her baby. We are going to pray for a good tummy with a baby in it, and we are going to answer each others' prayers.' "
To read the full article, click on the title above.
A heartfelt thank you to Troy for his willingness to leave his family vacation and come and share his thoughts with us, shake our hands, listen to our stories and share a piece of himself with all of us attending the conference.
Many of you have asked if any of the conference will be available to those who were not able to attend. Once duplicated, a DVD will go to each chapter chair and each LDS Family Services office. There will also be a video stream link on the FSA site. This includes Troy Dunn's address.
Book Review by: Alisa Brough
When we first began the adoption process, I wanted to know about books—any books that would help me better parent an adopted child or even just know how to make decisions about things like open adoption. But overwhelmed by everything else we were learning, and not knowing where to start looking, I put off my search. It turns out that there are plenty of books about adoption: picture books, young adult novels, and non-fiction books written for tweens, teens, and adults. And they are written about a variety of different adoption situations, from domestic to international adoptions and infant adoptions to foster care. In fact there are so many books that determining which ones would be most helpful for a given situation can be a little overwhelming.
After gathering books from the Lehi and Orem public libraries and borrowing several more from a friend, I’ve compiled a list of picture books and grouped them into different categories to make the list a bit more navigable. With so many books, it didn’t make sense to try to describe them all. Below you’ll find a synopsis and discussion about a few of my personal favorites, and at the end of this post is the complete list, including a few categories that I don’t discuss, simply because this post was already getting too long.
Domestic Adoption Stories
When it comes to adoption stories, there are several books that tell the story of a domestic placement. My favorite is Jamie Lee Curtis’s Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born. In the book, a young girl asks her parents to tell her again about her adoption, asking for specific details about her story. While the text is able to re-create the wonder and anxiety that are part of placement, the pictures add a delightful bit of humor to the story.
Birth Mother Stories
Most adoption books tell the story of the adopted child or the adoptive parents, but there are a few out there that focus on the birth mother. Did My First Mother Love Me? by Kathryn Ann Miller uses a letter from a birth mother to her unborn baby to tell of a birth mother’s love for her child. Written by the foster parent of a birth mother, Never, Never, Never, Will She Stop Loving You by Jolene Durrant explains that as soon as Annie realized she was pregnant, she loved her baby and made choices and sacrifices to give her baby the best life possible: “ She loved you before you were born. She loves you now. Never, never, never, will she stop loving you.”
Books for Infants and Toddlers
While many adoption books have paragraphs of text on each page, there are a few books out there that are just right for the youngest readers with short, rhythmic or repetitive text. Two great books are We Belong Together by Todd Parr and I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie Kitze. Parr’s book lists several simple reasons that brought children and parents together such as needing a home or someone to kiss a child’s boo-boos. In I Don’t Have Your Eyes, the author explains that even though a child might not share her parent’s physical features (e.g., eyes, hair, nose, hands, etc.), they are alike in other ways: “I don’t have your eyes, but I have your way of looking at things.” My little girl loves the bright, simple pictures in Parr’s book, while I love the message in Kitze’s book. Note: Because Parr’s book celebrates all types of families, some illustrations show single parents and others show two moms or two dads.
Animal Stories for Multicultural Families
In all of these books, A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza, The Lamb-a-roo by Diana Kimpton, and The Little Green Goose by Adele Sansone, an animal adopts a baby animal of a different species. When the baby animal realizes that he doesn’t look like his parent, he experiences some distress but ultimately decides that the animal that takes care of him is his real parent. Because the stories are about animals these books can be applied to a variety of situations, including multicultural adoptions, both domestic and international. One drawback to these books is that in the beginning of the story the baby animal seems to be lost and abandoned, rather than thoughtfully and caringly placed with an adoptive parent. Because of its Australian flavor and soft, chalk illustrations, The Lamb-a-roo is my favorite of the three, but the other books also have great qualities.
In Kasza’s book, Choco is looking for a mom, but can’t find anyone he looks like. Instead he finds Mrs. Bear who knows how to hold him, kiss him, and cheer him up just like his mother would. When Choco decides to let Mrs. Bear be his mommy he discovers that she has other children (Hippy, Ally, and Piggy) who don’t look like their mom either, but they all love each other just the same.
When the lamb, in The Lamb-a-roo realizes he doesn’t look like his kangaroo mom, he puts on springs so that he can jump like her and she puts on a wooly blanket to look like him. But the springs mean he can’t sit in her pouch and the blanket covers up her soft, brown fur. So they decide to embrace their differences.
When the other chicks in the farmyard tell the little green goose that he doesn’t look anything like his father, he runs away to find a mother who looks like him. Feeling abandoned and alone, the little green goose, suddenly remembers that he is loved by his adopted dad, Mr. Goose. This story is unique for telling the story of an adoptive father.
Books for Kids Angry or Anxious about Adoption
There are a few books written for children beginning to understand that adoption means that their birth stories might be different from most of their friends’ stories. When a young girl tells her adopted mom that she’s not her real mother in Molly Friedrich’s book, You’re Not My Real Mother, her adoptive mom lists all the ways she shows her love for her little girl. The mom also explains that they look different because she’s not her little girl’s birth mother, but all the things they do together make them a real family. Although the text doesn’t identify the race of the little girl, the illustrations are such that the girl could be Asian or black.
Linda Walvoord Girard has also written at least two books for older readers. Adoption Is for Always is written for children who are beginning to understand that they are adopted, but doesn’t emphasize differences in physical appearance between the parents and child, while We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo is about a boy born in Korea and mentions the adoption of his sister who was born in Brazil.
Stories that Include Adoption
I read just a few books that include the idea of adoption, and I’m sure there are many more out there. With text full of beautiful imagery and captivating illustrations so lovely you’ll want to spend time looking just at the pictures, my favorite book in this group is The Sea Chest. This is a story about a family who, after a particularly terrible storm, discovers a baby girl wrapped in a bundle of mattresses inside a sea chest, washed ashore their island. Some parents might be concerned that this book romanticizes adoption and promotes the idea that birth parents are more exotic and wealthy than adoptive parents.
A complete list of the books I reviewed follows, but if you know of other books, please let all of us know about them by sharing them in a comment. I’m hoping that this overview will give those of you who want to know more, a good starting place.
The List
Domestic Adoption Stories
I Wished for You: An Adoption Story by Marianne Richmond
Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis, illus. by Laura Cornell
My Adopted Child, There’s No One Like You by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kevin Leman II
This Is How We Became a Family: An Adoption Story by Wayne Willis
The Day We Met You by Phoebe Koehler
Birth Mother Stories
Did My First Mother Love Me?: A Story for an Adopted Child by Kathryn Ann Miller, illus. by Jami Moffett
The Tummy Mummy by Michelle Madrid-Branch, illus. by Marin Thurber
Never, Never, Never, Will She Stop Loving You by Jolene Durrant
Books for Infants and Toddlers
Happy Adoption Day by John McCutcheon, illus. by Julie Paschkis
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze, illus. by Rob Williams
We Belong Together by Todd Parr
Disney’s Tarzan Me and You by Victoria Saxon, illus. by Kim Raymond and Philippe Harchy
Animal Stories for Multicultural Families
The Lamb-a-roo by Diana Kimpton, illus. by Rosalind Beardshaw
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza
The Little Green Goose by Adele Sansone, illus. by Alan Marks
Books for Kids Angry or Anxious about Adoption
Adoption Is for Always (technically non-fiction) by Linda Walvoord Girard, illus. by Judith Friedman
We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo (technically non-fiction) by Linda Walvoord Girard, illus. by Linda Shute
Allison by Allen Say
You’re Not My Real Mother by Molly Friedrich, illus. by Christy Hale
Stories that Include Adoption
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
The Rainbabies by Laura Krauss Melmed, illus. by Jim LaMarche
The Sea Chest by Toni Buzzeo, illus. by Mary GrandPre
Books for Kids Adopted When They Are Older
Welcome Home, Forever Child by Christine Mitchell
Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights by Julie Nelson, illus. by Mary Gallagher
Books that Explain Adoption (Juvenile Non-fiction)
Let’s Talk about It: Adoption by Fred Rogers, photographs by Jim Judkis
Talking about Adoption by Jillian Powell
We Are Adopted by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos, illus. by Rosa M. Curto
Let’s Talk about Adoption by Diana Star Helmer
All about Adoption: How Families Are Made and How Kids Feel about It by Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata, illus. by Carol Koeller
Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
My New Family: A First Look at Adoption by Pat Thomas
How I Was Adopted by Joanna Cole, illus. by Maxie Chambliss
Adoption Lifebook: A Bridge to Your Child’s Beginnings by Cindy Probst
Books about International Adoption
Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale by Karen Katz
My Family Is Forever by Nancy Carlson
Heart of Mine: A Story of Adoption by Dan and Lotta Hojer
Jin Woo by Eve Bunting, illus. by Chris Soentpiet
Books about Adopted Chinese Girls
Waiting for May by Janet Morgan Stoeke
Just Add One Chinese Sister: An Adoption Story by Patricia McMahon and Conor Clarke McCarthy, illus. by Karen A. Jerome
Finding Joy by Marion Coste, illus. by Yong Chen
The White Swan Express: A Story about Adoption by Jean Davies Okimoto and Elaine M. Aoki, illus. by Meilo So
Three Names of Me by Mary Cummings, illus. by Lin Wang
Mommy Far, Mommy Near: An Adoption Story by Carol Antoinette Peacock, illus. by Shawn Costello Brownell
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose Lewis, illus. by Jane Dyer
Every Year on Your Birthday by Rose Lewis, illus. by Jane Dyer
After gathering books from the Lehi and Orem public libraries and borrowing several more from a friend, I’ve compiled a list of picture books and grouped them into different categories to make the list a bit more navigable. With so many books, it didn’t make sense to try to describe them all. Below you’ll find a synopsis and discussion about a few of my personal favorites, and at the end of this post is the complete list, including a few categories that I don’t discuss, simply because this post was already getting too long.
Domestic Adoption Stories
When it comes to adoption stories, there are several books that tell the story of a domestic placement. My favorite is Jamie Lee Curtis’s Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born. In the book, a young girl asks her parents to tell her again about her adoption, asking for specific details about her story. While the text is able to re-create the wonder and anxiety that are part of placement, the pictures add a delightful bit of humor to the story.
Birth Mother Stories
Most adoption books tell the story of the adopted child or the adoptive parents, but there are a few out there that focus on the birth mother. Did My First Mother Love Me? by Kathryn Ann Miller uses a letter from a birth mother to her unborn baby to tell of a birth mother’s love for her child. Written by the foster parent of a birth mother, Never, Never, Never, Will She Stop Loving You by Jolene Durrant explains that as soon as Annie realized she was pregnant, she loved her baby and made choices and sacrifices to give her baby the best life possible: “ She loved you before you were born. She loves you now. Never, never, never, will she stop loving you.”
Books for Infants and Toddlers
While many adoption books have paragraphs of text on each page, there are a few books out there that are just right for the youngest readers with short, rhythmic or repetitive text. Two great books are We Belong Together by Todd Parr and I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie Kitze. Parr’s book lists several simple reasons that brought children and parents together such as needing a home or someone to kiss a child’s boo-boos. In I Don’t Have Your Eyes, the author explains that even though a child might not share her parent’s physical features (e.g., eyes, hair, nose, hands, etc.), they are alike in other ways: “I don’t have your eyes, but I have your way of looking at things.” My little girl loves the bright, simple pictures in Parr’s book, while I love the message in Kitze’s book. Note: Because Parr’s book celebrates all types of families, some illustrations show single parents and others show two moms or two dads.
Animal Stories for Multicultural Families
In all of these books, A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza, The Lamb-a-roo by Diana Kimpton, and The Little Green Goose by Adele Sansone, an animal adopts a baby animal of a different species. When the baby animal realizes that he doesn’t look like his parent, he experiences some distress but ultimately decides that the animal that takes care of him is his real parent. Because the stories are about animals these books can be applied to a variety of situations, including multicultural adoptions, both domestic and international. One drawback to these books is that in the beginning of the story the baby animal seems to be lost and abandoned, rather than thoughtfully and caringly placed with an adoptive parent. Because of its Australian flavor and soft, chalk illustrations, The Lamb-a-roo is my favorite of the three, but the other books also have great qualities.
In Kasza’s book, Choco is looking for a mom, but can’t find anyone he looks like. Instead he finds Mrs. Bear who knows how to hold him, kiss him, and cheer him up just like his mother would. When Choco decides to let Mrs. Bear be his mommy he discovers that she has other children (Hippy, Ally, and Piggy) who don’t look like their mom either, but they all love each other just the same.
When the lamb, in The Lamb-a-roo realizes he doesn’t look like his kangaroo mom, he puts on springs so that he can jump like her and she puts on a wooly blanket to look like him. But the springs mean he can’t sit in her pouch and the blanket covers up her soft, brown fur. So they decide to embrace their differences.
When the other chicks in the farmyard tell the little green goose that he doesn’t look anything like his father, he runs away to find a mother who looks like him. Feeling abandoned and alone, the little green goose, suddenly remembers that he is loved by his adopted dad, Mr. Goose. This story is unique for telling the story of an adoptive father.
Books for Kids Angry or Anxious about Adoption
There are a few books written for children beginning to understand that adoption means that their birth stories might be different from most of their friends’ stories. When a young girl tells her adopted mom that she’s not her real mother in Molly Friedrich’s book, You’re Not My Real Mother, her adoptive mom lists all the ways she shows her love for her little girl. The mom also explains that they look different because she’s not her little girl’s birth mother, but all the things they do together make them a real family. Although the text doesn’t identify the race of the little girl, the illustrations are such that the girl could be Asian or black.
Linda Walvoord Girard has also written at least two books for older readers. Adoption Is for Always is written for children who are beginning to understand that they are adopted, but doesn’t emphasize differences in physical appearance between the parents and child, while We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo is about a boy born in Korea and mentions the adoption of his sister who was born in Brazil.
Stories that Include Adoption
I read just a few books that include the idea of adoption, and I’m sure there are many more out there. With text full of beautiful imagery and captivating illustrations so lovely you’ll want to spend time looking just at the pictures, my favorite book in this group is The Sea Chest. This is a story about a family who, after a particularly terrible storm, discovers a baby girl wrapped in a bundle of mattresses inside a sea chest, washed ashore their island. Some parents might be concerned that this book romanticizes adoption and promotes the idea that birth parents are more exotic and wealthy than adoptive parents.
A complete list of the books I reviewed follows, but if you know of other books, please let all of us know about them by sharing them in a comment. I’m hoping that this overview will give those of you who want to know more, a good starting place.
The List
Domestic Adoption Stories
I Wished for You: An Adoption Story by Marianne Richmond
Tell Me Again about the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis, illus. by Laura Cornell
My Adopted Child, There’s No One Like You by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kevin Leman II
This Is How We Became a Family: An Adoption Story by Wayne Willis
The Day We Met You by Phoebe Koehler
Birth Mother Stories
Did My First Mother Love Me?: A Story for an Adopted Child by Kathryn Ann Miller, illus. by Jami Moffett
The Tummy Mummy by Michelle Madrid-Branch, illus. by Marin Thurber
Never, Never, Never, Will She Stop Loving You by Jolene Durrant
Books for Infants and Toddlers
Happy Adoption Day by John McCutcheon, illus. by Julie Paschkis
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze, illus. by Rob Williams
We Belong Together by Todd Parr
Disney’s Tarzan Me and You by Victoria Saxon, illus. by Kim Raymond and Philippe Harchy
Animal Stories for Multicultural Families
The Lamb-a-roo by Diana Kimpton, illus. by Rosalind Beardshaw
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza
The Little Green Goose by Adele Sansone, illus. by Alan Marks
Books for Kids Angry or Anxious about Adoption
Adoption Is for Always (technically non-fiction) by Linda Walvoord Girard, illus. by Judith Friedman
We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo (technically non-fiction) by Linda Walvoord Girard, illus. by Linda Shute
Allison by Allen Say
You’re Not My Real Mother by Molly Friedrich, illus. by Christy Hale
Stories that Include Adoption
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
The Rainbabies by Laura Krauss Melmed, illus. by Jim LaMarche
The Sea Chest by Toni Buzzeo, illus. by Mary GrandPre
Books for Kids Adopted When They Are Older
Welcome Home, Forever Child by Christine Mitchell
Families Change: A Book for Children Experiencing Termination of Parental Rights by Julie Nelson, illus. by Mary Gallagher
Books that Explain Adoption (Juvenile Non-fiction)
Let’s Talk about It: Adoption by Fred Rogers, photographs by Jim Judkis
Talking about Adoption by Jillian Powell
We Are Adopted by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos, illus. by Rosa M. Curto
Let’s Talk about Adoption by Diana Star Helmer
All about Adoption: How Families Are Made and How Kids Feel about It by Marc Nemiroff and Jane Annunziata, illus. by Carol Koeller
Why Was I Adopted? by Carole Livingston
My New Family: A First Look at Adoption by Pat Thomas
How I Was Adopted by Joanna Cole, illus. by Maxie Chambliss
Adoption Lifebook: A Bridge to Your Child’s Beginnings by Cindy Probst
Books about International Adoption
Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale by Karen Katz
My Family Is Forever by Nancy Carlson
Heart of Mine: A Story of Adoption by Dan and Lotta Hojer
Jin Woo by Eve Bunting, illus. by Chris Soentpiet
Books about Adopted Chinese Girls
Waiting for May by Janet Morgan Stoeke
Just Add One Chinese Sister: An Adoption Story by Patricia McMahon and Conor Clarke McCarthy, illus. by Karen A. Jerome
Finding Joy by Marion Coste, illus. by Yong Chen
The White Swan Express: A Story about Adoption by Jean Davies Okimoto and Elaine M. Aoki, illus. by Meilo So
Three Names of Me by Mary Cummings, illus. by Lin Wang
Mommy Far, Mommy Near: An Adoption Story by Carol Antoinette Peacock, illus. by Shawn Costello Brownell
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose Lewis, illus. by Jane Dyer
Every Year on Your Birthday by Rose Lewis, illus. by Jane Dyer
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